Look, Mommy, I'm a catcher

2 children are much more difficult than one child. It’s rare that you get a single second to yourself. So when either of the kids are out of sight and quiet for a stretch of time, you tend not to question it. Finally, a second of peace and quiet. I’m going to sit on the couch and stare straight ahead and enjoy the silence. Let me tell you from experience that this is, in fact the wrong response. Be suspicious. Silence may seem harmless, when really, if a child is running around naked and singing at the top of his lungs while in the same room, at least you can see what is happening before it’s too late. I’ll be the first to admit that when Boy is in a different room and quiet, I usually happily enjoy it and prepare myself for the repercussions.

Mommy was recently put into one of these situations. It had been an incredibly long day within an especially long week. Boy had probably been running around naked and singing at the top of his lungs while Girl egged him on. So when Boy went upstairs and was quiet for a stretch of time, she made the choice to deal with the repercussions. I’ve certainly been there. After a period of time, Mommy started to worry. Here’s when you need to make a decision. Do I go and check on him or do I plead ignorance? Our house is a small Cape. The stairs going up are in the middle of the house, straight up. You can’t see up the stairs from the living room, you need to go to the bottom of the stairs to look up.

Mommy? Mommy? Mommy! MOMMY! I’M A CATCHER! We’re Red Sox fans in my house. We watch a lot of the games together. Boy loves to play baseball in the backyard. His favorite player is Jason Varitek. Mommy is on the nervous side at this point. Oh, no, what has he gotten into. She gets to the bottom of the stairs and looks up. Boy had (well, I’m not exactly sure how to say this but I’ll try) gotten into Mommy’s feminine products for her monthly friend. As an ignorant man, please bear with me. They are the external kind with the sticker on one side (Mommy note: they are called panty liners, Daddy note: I’m a bit of an idiot when it comes to this stuff, luckily I have some time before Girl will be embarrassed by my male-centricity, I also don’t much care for the term “panty”). He is wearing nothing but underwear and a whole box of feminine hygiene products. He had removed the sticker strips and stuck them all up both of his legs horizontally, like a catcher’s shin guards. He had them going up his chest, like Jason Varitek’s chest protector. And he had a look of pride on his face from being so clever in his dress up moment. I don’t remember, but I’m sure he next asked Mommy to go outside to play baseball.

How do I know the look on his face you ask? That is because Mommy was quick and smart enough to go right for the camera. She snaps a couple pictures and then my phone rings at the office. All I hear on the other end of the phone line is laughter. Next I receive the email with the pics. I’m not sure if I’m more proud of his creative thinking or the fact that he likes to put safety first.